Do you dread going to work?

Every night before I go to sleep I mentally plan out the next day, wake up, have coffee, do laundry, this piece of homework, that piece of homework...and get ready for work. About 30 minutes before I leave I get hit with anxiety. I think about the colicky baby with the overbearing mother that will be in today, I wonder what grunt work I'll be told to do 20 minutes before close, I wonder if the owner who doesn't care about his center will stop in to make harsh comments and demoralize the staff. All of these things lead to an unhappy work experience. The center I'm working at now is less than ideal for me, only myself and 2 other employees even have teaching degrees. While other employees are good with kids and do get the job done, they are not there to be teachers, they are there for the paycheck. I want a job where I can write lesson plans and come up with theme weeks and fun things to do, not a job where the lesson plans are thrown on our counter at the beginning of each month.

I absolutely dread going to work. The 2 days a week I nanny for a family with 2 young children are my breaks. I have the luxury of being able to bring my laptop and do school work, I can have a bite to eat whenever I want, I can sit on the couch and not worry if someone thinks I'm sitting too long. I dislike having a boss breathing down my neck. I've been lucky that all the nanny jobs I have had have been good ones with parents who trust me and respect my education by occasionally asking for my opinions on subjects. Unfortunately in this economy the nanny jobs are few and far between, and I am competing with about 40/50 people for each job that comes along.

The first daycare I ever worked at was relaxed enough to where I didn't have any kind of anxiety. In fact I showed up to work 10 minutes early everyday because I wanted to be there. I wanted to see my kids, I wanted to see my co-workers, I wanted to talk books and school with my boss. While I regret quitting that job I understand it was necessary for me to be able to further my education and save up some money. Hopefully one day I can go back with my degree in hand and stake out a career in a school where I felt I was treated like a human being and not just an employee.

For now I will just have to wade through, and hope more small nanny jobs come up so I can quit the school I'm at now completely...and regain my sanity. If I stay there I know I will start to hate teaching entirely and after all my hard work I can't let that happen.